Life In the Office


My day starts at 5 a.m. That’s when my alarm goes off anyways. I don’t actually have to be at the office until 7 a.m. But I consider my work day to start at 5 a.m. because that’s when I need to get up and out of bed so I can get ready for the day. Getting ready for the day consists of a shower, preparing my breakfast and other meals for the day, getting dressed, and then driving to meet my carpool buddies then traveling 45 minutes to an hour to get to the office. Yes, I commute, and it sucks. The commute is probably one of the worst things about my job but I’ve dealt with it for almost 12 years now, so why am I bitching.

The first thing I have to deal with when I get to my cubicle is my cube mate. Not only do they provide this wonderful 6’ x 6’ space in which to slave away my day but they force me to share it with another person. Let me just say that this particular person is a nice guy, I wouldn’t mind meeting them at a bar or at a BBQ, I’m sure we would have a great time, but spending eleven hours a day in a 6’ x 6’ space with this person is torture.

But not only am I sharing a cubicle with someone but I also am in such close proximity to folks directly on the other side of each cubicle wall, with the exception of the cubicle opening which opens into an aisle which runs through the cubicle labyrinth. I was having a run of luck when the person directly on the other side of the wall I am facing was fairly soft spoken so I wasn’t blasted by their voice every day when they were on the phone but now whoever they moved there has the vocal talents of a female public announcer. This is where headphones come in handy. But then again headphones are a necessary to maintain some semblance of sanity in this place. Headphones are permanently attached to my earholes to try and keep out the environment around me so I can focus on what I am doing.

Oh boy another birthday

Who wants to sign the card? Not fucking me, but I do I it anyways since it is being forcibly passed to me. Oh and here comes someone else asking if we want to pitch in a few bucks for a present for so and so. Or how about the shitload of charities passing through the office? I swear, if I contributed to every one of these I would be essentially working….well….for charity. But it’s for a good cause they say. Let me tell you about the charities in our office. One is that for $50 a month they allow us to wear jeans to work. Yay. Then there are the numerous $20 t-shirts that are sold for charities that, if purchased, we can wear once a week. You know what? I honestly don’t give a shit what I wear to work, just as long as it is not dirty (most of the time) and it meets the minimum requirements of the dress code.

Well, that’s all the time I have for this rant of the day. Don’t worry there is more to come.


We are Warriors

You sit chained to your desk every day feeling like life has left you behind in this void called the office. If you are like me, you work in a 6’x 6′ cubicle or something like it. Thirty-six square feet. That’s all there is. It may as well be a prison cell, with the exception of minimal freedom at being allowed to get up to satisfy certain necessary body functions such as eating, shitting, or pissing. If you want to leave the building and experience the pseudo freedom of the outside air, you need special permission, and in most cases, some sort of security clearance. You ask yourself, “is this how I was meant to live?”

Millions of us go through this routine every day. A large percentage of the workforce is made up of us office folk. A large percentage of the work force is made up of what has come to be known as white collar sweat shops, office buildings packed tightly with as many bodies as the local safety regulations will allow, usually consisting of a maze of cubicles in which we are placed in attempt to give us the illusion of privacy. The illusion is not working.

With this blog I am attempting to vent and alleviate some of my own frustration about the conditions under which I am working on a daily basis, confined to a desk and staring at a computer monitor, trying to ignore the constant babble of those sitting around me in this modern day version of a human cattle farming. I am also trying to help others do the same, but at the same time trying to give advice and info on how i have learned to deal with my situation until something better comes along.

When I say dealing with this situation; the situation or situations I speak of would include such things as:

  1. Trying to counteract the adverse effects to physical health caused by sitting at a desk all day. This includes exercise and diet. Just because you work at a desk doesn’t mean you should be fat, unhealthy sack of shit. This includes taking care of your body and being proactive about your physical health instead of just waiting to get sick and die.
  2. Trying to counteract the adverse effects to mental health caused by sitting at a desk all day. This includes not wanting to kill yourself everyday.  Depression, anger, frustration. I know that sounds dramatic, but it happens, especially when you aren’t doing things to alleviate the boredom and monotony that are a staple of office life. You need to take care of you mind and your sense of well being.
  3. Coping with the ridiculous office politics and bureaucratic bullshit.
  4. Dealing with spending every day in close proximity to annoying and ignorant co-workers.
  5. How to take control of your work-space
  6. Exploring ways to escape this work environment for more rewarding and profitable pursuits.
  7. Avoiding getting into a rut.

Of course, I will be covering much more topics concerning the subject of surviving in or escaping from a white collar sweat shop, but the above are some good examples to give you an idea of where I am going with this.

When it comes down to it, no matter what line of work you are in, getting ahead can be a battle. In this case, if you work in an office like me, the battle is taking place across a field of cubicles, and you are a warrior.